Note: I am not a financial advisor. This post reflects my personal experience and is for informational purposes only. Always consult a qualified financial professional before making investment decisions. Full disclosure here.
Nobody sat us down at 25 and explained compound interest. Nobody told us that the years between 35 and 45 are the most financially consequential decade of our lives. Nobody handed us a roadmap. And most of us spent too long pretending we had one anyway.
Let me tell you something that took me longer than I care to admit to fully internalize: financial confidence is not something you're born with. It is something you build. And the women I know who are most financially secure are not the ones who had it all figured out at 30. They are the ones who got honest with themselves somewhere in their mid-30s and decided to start.
This is that conversation. The one nobody had with us. The one we're having right now.
"Most women over 35 are more financially capable than they believe — and less financially prepared than they need to be. Both things are true. And both are fixable."
Why 35 is the most important financial turning point of your life
Here is what the financial industry doesn't tell you loudly enough: the decade between 35 and 45 has more impact on your long-term financial wellbeing than any other. More than your 20s when you were just starting. More than your 50s when you're approaching retirement. Right now — this decade — is when the decisions you make will compound in ways that will define the next 30 years.
This is not meant to frighten you. It is meant to wake you up in the best possible way. Because the same mathematical reality that makes this decade so consequential also means that starting now — today — is still enormously powerful.
Start with one notebook. Write your actual numbers. That one act changes everything.
I am not a financial advisor — I want to be crystal clear about that. What I am is a woman in her 30s who spent too long being vague about her finances, who got honest with herself, who made some changes, and who has watched those changes compound in ways that feel genuinely transformational. This is not expert advice. This is real talk from a real woman who has lived it.
The five money truths I wish someone had told me at 35
1. Your relationship with money is a reflection of your relationship with yourself
This was the one that stopped me cold. The way I was avoiding looking at my bank account, the way I was spending to feel better and then feeling worse, the way I was equating my net worth with my self-worth — none of that was about money. It was about self-worth, scarcity mindset, and beliefs I had inherited about what women were supposed to think about money.
Before the spreadsheets and the savings accounts, the most important work I did was examining what I actually believed about money. That it was complicated. That it was for other people. That wanting more of it made me greedy. Not one of those beliefs was true. But they were quietly running the show for years.
2. You don't need to understand everything — you need to understand enough
The financial world is deliberately complicated. There is an entire industry built on making you feel like you need someone else to manage your money because you couldn't possibly understand it yourself. That is not true. You need to understand budgeting, compound interest, the difference between an asset and a liability, and the basics of investing. That is genuinely enough to make life-changing decisions. Everything else is detail.
3. The gender wealth gap is real and it demands your attention
Women on average earn less, live longer, take more career breaks for caregiving, and retire with significantly less saved than men. This is not a personal failing. It is a structural reality that requires a personal response. Knowing this gap exists is the first step to making sure you are not a statistic in it.
4. Compound interest is the most powerful force available to you right now
Whether Einstein actually said it or not, the math is indisputable. $500 invested monthly starting at 35 grows to approximately $600,000 by 65 at an average 7% return. The same $500 monthly starting at 45 grows to approximately $260,000. The decade between 35 and 45 is worth $340,000 in this scenario. Let that number sit with you.
5. Financial security is the ultimate form of self-care
We talk endlessly about self-care — the facials, the sleep routines, the morning rituals. All of it matters. But there is no skincare routine that delivers the peace of mind that a fully funded emergency fund provides. Financial security is not about being rich. It is about having enough — enough to cover the unexpected, enough to make choices from a place of freedom rather than fear, enough to never be trapped in a situation by lack of options. Read more in our finance hub
On the topic of self-care that compounds — the sleep and wellness habits that protect your energy levels are just as foundational as your savings habit. Read: 5 things that finally fixed my sleep after 35 →
needs to have in place
- Emergency fund — 3–6 months of living expenses in a high-yield savings account. Non-negotiable. This is your financial immune system.
- Retirement contributions — Contributing enough to capture your full employer match if you have one. That match is an immediate 50–100% return on investment.
- No high-interest debt — Credit card debt at 20%+ interest is the single biggest drain on wealth building. Eliminating this is the highest guaranteed return available.
- Basic estate documents — A will. A healthcare directive. A power of attorney. Unsexy but essential. If you have children or assets, this is not optional.
- Life and disability insurance — Especially if people depend on your income. Your ability to earn is your greatest asset — it needs to be protected.
- Knowledge of your numbers — Your income, your expenses, your net worth, your credit score. You cannot manage what you don't measure.
The practical steps — where to actually start
Theory is useful. Action is transformational. Here is the exact sequence I would follow if I were starting from zero today — and what I recommend to every woman who asks me where to begin.
Know your actual numbers
Sit down this week — not next month, this week — and write down every number that matters. Your income after tax. Your fixed monthly expenses. Your variable spending. Your total debt. Your savings. Your investments. Most women have a general sense of their finances. Very few know their actual numbers. The act of writing them down changes your relationship with money immediately.
Open a high-yield savings account today
If your emergency fund is sitting in a regular savings account earning 0.01% interest, you are losing money to inflation every single day. High-yield savings accounts currently offer 4–5% APY — that is 400–500 times more than a traditional savings account. Open one today. It takes 10 minutes. Move your emergency fund there this week.
Automate everything you possibly can
The research is unambiguous: automated savings beat intentional savings every time. Set up automatic transfers on payday — to savings, to investments, to debt repayment. Pay yourself first before you have the chance to spend it. Remove the decision from the equation entirely. Automation is the closest thing to a financial superpower that exists.
Tackle high-interest debt with ferocity
There is no investment strategy that consistently beats the guaranteed 20%+ return of paying off credit card debt. Use the avalanche method — pay minimums on everything and throw every extra dollar at the highest-interest debt first. Once it's gone, roll that payment to the next one. The psychological momentum this builds is as valuable as the mathematical benefit.
Start investing — even if it's $50 a month
The biggest investing mistake is waiting until you have more money to invest. $50 a month invested consistently beats $500 invested sporadically every single time. Open a Roth IRA if you're eligible. Contribute to your employer's 401k at minimum up to the match. Choose low-cost index funds — they outperform most actively managed funds over time. Start now. Adjust later.
Build income streams beyond your salary
A salary is a single point of financial failure. The women who build genuine financial security have multiple income streams — investments that generate returns, side businesses, affiliate income, rental income, freelance work. Not all at once. One at a time. But the intention to diversify income should be part of your financial plan starting now. Which is, incidentally, part of what Style & Soul is — building an income stream that is mine, that grows independently, that exists beyond any single employer's decision.
Building income streams beyond your salary is one of the most powerful financial decisions you can make after 35.
The money mindset shift that changes everything
I want to end with the thing that matters more than any of the practical steps above. Because you can know all of this and still not do it if the underlying mindset hasn't shifted.
Money is not a personality trait. Having it does not make you greedy. Wanting more of it does not make you shallow. Talking about it does not make you crass. These are stories — mostly told to women, mostly internalized by women — that have kept generations of us financially smaller than we needed to be.
Money is a tool. The most versatile, powerful tool available in modern life. In the hands of a woman who knows her worth and her numbers, it is an instrument of freedom. Freedom to leave situations that don't serve you. Freedom to invest in your health, your children, your dreams. Freedom to be generous with the people and causes you love. Freedom to make choices from a place of abundance rather than scarcity.
Building intentional daily habits is the foundation of both financial and personal wellbeing. Read: How to create a morning corner that sets the tone for everything →
You deserved this conversation at 25. You're getting it now. And now — with more life experience, more clarity about what you actually want, more confidence in who you are — you are more equipped to act on it than you have ever been.
Start this week. Not next month. Not when things calm down. This week. One account opened, one number written down, one automatic transfer set up. That is enough. That is the beginning of everything.