Before we go any further — this post is not here to tell you what to do. It is here to give you the information I wish I had been given clearly, honestly and without judgement. What you do with your face is your business, your money and your choice. Full stop.
I want to start with something a dermatologist said that I have not been able to stop thinking about. Research shows that over 80% of women who get Botox do so not to look younger — but to look like themselves again. Not the version from twenty years ago. The one they saw in the mirror last decade, before the fatigue settled in around the eyes and the face started doing things they did not recognise.
That landed for me because it is exactly why I started. I did not want a different face. I wanted my face — rested, refreshed, the way it looked when I felt good. That is a completely different goal from the one most people assume you have when you do these things. And it is a goal that is worth understanding clearly before you walk into any clinic.
Nobody talks about this honestly. The conversation around Botox and fillers is still loaded with judgement in a way that almost nothing else is. We celebrate women who dye their grey roots and say nothing. We applaud the woman who gets a great haircut. But the moment someone mentions injectables the assumption is vanity, insecurity, something to be embarrassed about or kept quiet.
I do not keep it quiet. I have been doing Botox for years and I am not the least bit sorry about it. I do it because I feel more like myself afterwards. I do it for me — not for any partner, not for any audience, not because I am afraid of aging. I am not afraid of aging. I am interested in aging well on my own terms, which looks different for every woman and should be respected either way.
Botox and fillers —
they are not the same thing
The most common confusion I encounter is that women use "Botox" as a catch-all term for everything injectable. It is not. Botox and fillers do completely different things, target different problems and produce different results. Understanding the difference is the most important thing you can know before you sit in any injector's chair.
Smooths movement.
- Works on dynamic wrinkles — lines caused by facial expressions: frowning, squinting, smiling
- Targets forehead lines, crow's feet, the 11 lines between the brows
- Results appear in 4 to 14 days. Peak at 2 weeks.
- Lasts 3 to 4 months — then muscles regain movement naturally
- Does not add volume or change facial structure
- 10 to 15 minutes in the chair. No real downtime.
Restores structure.
- Works on static wrinkles and volume loss — hollows, nasolabial folds, flat cheeks
- Targets lips, cheeks, jawline, under-eye hollows, smile lines
- Most fillers are hyaluronic acid — a substance your body already produces
- Lasts 6 to 18 months depending on the product and area
- Fully reversible — can be dissolved with an enzyme called hyaluronidase
- More bruising risk than Botox — particularly under the eyes and lips
The two are often used together because they address different aspects of the same aging process. Botox handles the muscle movement causing expression lines. Fillers handle the volume loss that creates hollows and sagging. Combined thoughtfully by a skilled injector, the result is more comprehensive — and more natural — than either would achieve alone.
My Botox experience —
years in, still learning
I have been having Botox for years and in that time I have learned far more from the experience than I ever could have from research alone. The most important thing I have learned is that the result is almost entirely determined by who does it and what you ask for — not by the product itself.
I always ask for natural results. Always. I have a very specific brief: I want to look like I slept well, not like I am surprised to be in the room. There is an enormous difference between Botox that relaxes and softens and Botox that freezes. The skill is in knowing how many units, where exactly and with how much restraint. A less experienced injector will often over-treat because they are trying to be thorough. An excellent injector will often do less than you expect — and that is exactly the result you want.
The results take time to show fully — typically four days to see initial results and up to two weeks for the full effect. First-timers are often surprised that they do not leave the appointment looking different. They look different two weeks later. If you go for a top-up too early you risk over-treatment. Wait the full two weeks, assess honestly and then have the conversation with your provider.
My filler experience —
the honest version including the bruising
I came to fillers later than Botox and for a very specific reason. I lost a significant amount of weight and with it lost volume in my face — the kind of hollowing that makes you look gaunt rather than lean. Weight loss does not always do what you hope it will do to your face, particularly after 35 when the skin has less elasticity to adapt. Fillers were the right answer for me and I have no hesitation in saying so.
But I want to be honest about the bruising, because almost nobody is. Fillers bruise more than Botox — sometimes significantly more. My first experience left me with bruising that took a week to fully heal. Not a small mark. Actual bruising that required planning around. If you have anything important in the following week — a big event, a work presentation, a trip — schedule fillers with more lead time than you think you need.
"The bruising surprised me more than anything else. Nobody had warned me clearly. So I am warning you clearly: plan for a full week of possible bruising, particularly around the lips and under the eyes, and treat that week as recovery time."
— Anjie, Style & Soul 35+I now take arnica both before and after filler appointments and it has made a meaningful difference to both the severity and the duration of the bruising. Arnica is a natural remedy with genuine evidence behind it for bruising — it is not a gimmick. I take arnica tablets starting two days before the appointment and continue for several days after. I also use arnica gel topically on any bruised areas. It is the single most practical thing I can share about managing the aftermath of fillers.
Two days before: Start arnica tablets — look for homeopathic arnica 30C or a bruise-reduction supplement. Also avoid aspirin, ibuprofen and alcohol for 48 hours before your appointment as these all increase bruising risk. Day of appointment: No alcohol, no blood thinners. Some injectors recommend arnica gel applied to the area immediately after. Follow your injector's specific aftercare guidance. After: Continue arnica tablets for 3 to 5 days. Apply arnica gel to bruised areas gently — do not massage filler areas in the first two weeks. Ice can help reduce swelling in the first 24 hours but avoid pressure. What to avoid: Strenuous exercise and heat (saunas, hot yoga) for 48 hours — both increase bruising and swelling.
The other thing worth knowing about fillers: the results are not always immediately beautiful. There is often some swelling in the first few days that makes things look more dramatic than the final result. Particularly with lip fillers, what you see at 48 hours is not what you get. Give it two weeks before you assess. If you are unhappy after two weeks, go back to your provider — or, in the case of hyaluronic acid fillers, know that the option to dissolve entirely is always on the table.
Beyond injectables —
the treatments worth understanding
Botox and fillers get all the attention but there is a whole world of skin treatments that do different and complementary things. If you are not ready for injectables, or you want to build on what injectables do, these are the ones that genuinely deliver for women over 35.
Morpheus8 combines microneedling with radiofrequency energy to stimulate deep collagen production — treating both the surface and deeper layers of the skin. It tightens sagging skin around the jawline and neck, improves texture and reduces wrinkles without surgery. Results build over 3 to 6 months as collagen remodels — it is not an instant fix, it is a long-term investment. Repeat every 12 to 18 months. Excellent for women who are not ready for injectables but want real structural improvement.
Standard microneedling creates controlled micro-injuries to trigger the skin's own healing response, boosting collagen and elastin. More accessible in price than Morpheus8, good for improving skin texture, fine lines and enlarged pores. Safe for all skin tones. A good starting point for women beginning their skin treatment journey — less downtime and a more gradual approach than RF microneedling.
Chemical peels remove the outer layer of skin to reveal fresher, more even-toned skin beneath. Excellent for sun damage, hyperpigmentation, fine lines and overall skin brightness. Depth of peel (light, medium, deep) determines results and downtime. After 35, when sun exposure has started to show up as uneven tone and texture, a series of medium peels can be genuinely transformative.
Biostimulatory fillers like Sculptra do not add immediate volume — they stimulate the body to produce its own collagen over several months. The result is gradual and natural-looking because the improvement is built from your own biology. Research shows that combining biostimulators with RF microneedling can improve collagen density by 25% over six months. For women who want improvement that looks genuinely natural — not filled — biostimulators are worth understanding.
Before you book —
what I wish I had known
I have had good appointments and I have had ones I wished I had thought through more carefully. The difference is almost always in the quality of the consultation and the credentials of the person holding the needle. Here is what I would tell a friend before her first appointment.
Check credentials before anything else. Look for a medical doctor, nurse practitioner or physician assistant with specific aesthetic training. A "weekend certification" is not the same as years of medical training. Ask directly: what are your qualifications and how long have you been injecting?
Ask to see their portfolio. Before and after photographs of actual patients tell you more than any marketing material. You are looking for results that look natural — not results that look like a lot was done. Subtlety is the skill.
Be very specific about your goals. Do not say "I want to look younger." Say exactly what bothers you and exactly what you want to preserve. Tell them you want to be able to move your face. Tell them natural results matter more to you than dramatic results. A good injector will welcome this. A bad one will gloss over it.
Ask if hyaluronidase is available on-site. For any hyaluronic acid filler, this is the dissolving enzyme. A reputable clinic will always have it. If they hesitate or do not have it, walk away.
Do not book around an important event. For Botox allow at least two weeks. For fillers allow at least two to three weeks — bruising can take a full week and the results are not final until the swelling settles. Booking the week of a wedding or a big presentation is how you end up miserable.
Start arnica two days before fillers. Stop aspirin, ibuprofen and alcohol 48 hours before any appointment. These all increase bruising and the difference is significant.
If anything feels wrong, say something. A good injector wants you to be happy. If the consultation feels rushed, if your questions are dismissed, if you feel pressured to do more than you asked for — trust that feeling. You can always leave.
The honest truth
about all of it
There are things about these treatments that nobody puts in the brochure. Botox wears off. Every three to four months the muscles regain movement and the lines return. This is not a failure — it is how the product works. But it is a regular commitment and a regular expense, and you should go into it knowing that. It is not a one-time fix. It is a maintenance routine, not unlike getting your hair coloured.
Fillers can migrate over time if over-used or placed too superficially. This is why finding an injector with real expertise matters — and why more is not always more. The trend towards subtle, restorative treatments rather than dramatic volume is not just aesthetic fashion. It is the medically sound approach. The injectors I trust the most are the ones who sometimes tell me I do not need more, not the ones who always find something to treat.
And the most honest thing I can say: none of this is necessary. There is no part of aging naturally that is wrong or lesser or something to be fixed. If you choose to do nothing, that is a completely valid and beautiful choice. If you choose to do something, that is equally valid. The only opinion that matters is yours. Not your partner's. Not social media's. Not the women in your circle who may or may not be doing the same things and may or may not be admitting it.
This is your face. You have looked at it every morning of your life. You are the only one who gets to decide what you do — or do not do — with it.